By Mrs. B Finesse, M.S.
We’ve all been there – that gloomy place where getting out of bed feels impossible, motivation is nonexistent, and happiness seems like nothing more than an abstract concept. The fog of despair can be impenetrable, making it difficult to see any light or purpose beyond just surviving another gray day.
I remember when a friend was in the pit of depression, struggling intensely after a breakup. The days blurred together as they mindlessly scrolled through social media observing seemingly happy people living seemingly perfect lives. Their negative self-talk was relentless, telling me they would never find love again, that they felt unworthy and unlovable. They said they often contemplated whether life was worth living anymore. Have you ever struggled with these thoughts?
After talking to and encouraging them, they quickly woke up and realized they had two choices – either continue wallowing in self-pity or start taking small steps forward to pull themselves out of this prison of pain. Thank God they chose the latter.
It wasn’t easy, but over time, with my coaching help, and they slowly lifted the fog of despair that was hanging over their life and shifted their mindset with accountability. Here are a few suggestions to help you.
- Write down 3 things you’re grateful for
Those that have ever been in my presence or seen my work know I focus on the gratitude attitude! To build psychological momentum, every morning write down 3 things you are grateful for in my life, no matter how trivial they were – a good cup of coffee, sunshine streaming through my window, a nice text from a friend. Focusing intentionally on gratitude will shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance.
- Take one small action that brings you joy
When you’re depressed, it often feels impossible to do activities that used to bring you joy. Push yourself to take one small pleasurable action a day, even if you don’t feel like it – drawing in a sketchbook, taking a walk in nature, playing with your dog. These small actions release dopamine, making you feel better and giving you the energy to do more.
- Connect deeply with someone
When you’re isolated in sadness, you can forget how powerful human connection can be. Focus on making an effort to have meaningful conversations with your family or an accountability coach and open up about struggles instead of pretending you are fine. Feeling understood and realizing you are not alone is tremendously healing.
The path out of despair isn’t straight or swift – there were ups and downs, steps forward and slides backward. But gradually, the fog over your life will be lifted to reveal the sun was still shining after all. And if I can help coach my friend out of the pits of despair, I know that with help you can emerge from the storm to have a peace of mind too.
I encourage you to give these three tips a try. Have hope – you have the power to move towards the light. And if you ever want someone to talk to, I’m here to listen without judgment, help you STAY accountable and be a supportive voice in the darkness.
Embrace the Millennial Finesse Mindset by being grateful, a proactive planner, taking control of your finances and focusing on Faithfully Innovating, Inspiring others, being Naturally Effective, and Seek Success Everyday!
You don’t have to do this alone. One small step at a time, you can learn steps on how to come out of the storm and focus on future goals instead of the past. Now, how can I support you on your journey out of the fog to be accountable and thrive in your life?